What singles term as the man they met is serious with them, or the man they are in a relationship or dating is serious with them, actually has nothing to do with seriousness. Just because he introduces you to his family and friends as his wife to be or someone he is dating, doesn’t mean he is serious.
Using your picture as display picture or status does not make him serious. He calling you pet names or storing your name on his phone as wifey or sweetheart is not what makes him serious. He may be talking about marriage when he barely knows you but that doesn’t make him serious.
Most at times, as soon as people start dating, the men especially start pushing all kinds of pressure on the ladies to stop communicating with their friends, start ordering them where to go and where not to go.
They start rushing them to take him to the family, introduce him to friends, use his picture for Display Picture and Status, change their relationship status to show they are engaged, give strange rings to the lady to wear as if they are engaged, meanwhile the relationship is very young and they barely know each other.
It just feels like one party is rushing the other, thinking for the other, forcing her to make decisions without thinking through. And when the lady pleads for time to grow the relationship before making such decisions like introductions, changing of DPs, Relationship Status etc. he gets angry and accuses her of not loving him.
There is nothing special about meeting the parents or family of the one you are dating. It is the best thing to do to acquire information which will help you in your decision making. Meeting the family does not mean you are married. Such acts do not change the relationship status and that should not convince you that a man is serious with you; even if in his past relationships he has never introduced any woman he was going out with to the family or the public.
He is serious with you if he is patient enough to get to know you, to allow you to know him better. Not someone who easily gets angry because things didn’t go his way. Love is not easily angered.
He is serious when he is kind and selfless, not forcing you to reciprocate his gestures and actions. He is serious with you if he does not force you to do things his ways but understands you are different, and what makes you happy is different from his.
He is not serious when he forces you to get him an engagement list and starts buying items without taking time to know you and grow the relationship. What keeps the marriage is how well you know each other and are able to relate, not just paying the bride price.
What will keep the marriage is exchanging the right information and not exchanging of feelings. You can have a strong feeling for someone but if you don’t have the right information about them, you will fail to understand them. You will fail at communicating with them. You will fail at resolving conflicts. You will fail at expressing love the way they understand it.
He is not serious when he threatens to leave you or begins to avoid him because you are not pleasing him. Many of these guys rush ladies because of lust and not love. They are in a hurry to see your nakedness without getting to know your mind. He is serious if he is ready to do the right thing and not to force you to bed, but willing to grow the relationship into marriage.
In conclusion, “Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself” – Philippians 2:3 (TLB).
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