Written by Counselor Adofoli
It is time young people stopped mistaking dating for marriage; stop acting like married couples for you are not. There is nothing like borrowing, lending or renting when it comes to dating.
If you have the money and want to give it away, you are free to do so; but when you turn yourself into a bank, lending money to the one you are dating with the hope they will pay back, you risk both the money and the relationship.
They are not married to you so don’t use marriage as a collateral.
Such acts make no sense. You don’t know them, that is why you are studying them, so why lend money to someone you don’t know? And expect them to pay back. Managing a broken heart, disappointment and debt is not a joke, so don’t play with your funds.
Sometimes, everything seems so cool when they take the money from you with promises of pay back. But after waiting and waiting without the promises being fulfilled, and you gather the courage to ask about the repayment, that is where many get mad. They didn’t expect their partner to ask for the money they borrowed.
Lending money, materials stuff and lending of one’s body are the very things which cause attachment in many relationships. One partner is attached to the other because they have given something out so much and it doesn’t look like they are getting it back so they hold on to the relationship like a do or die affair.
In this modern world of technology, the lessons one learns is, you can’t attach a file to an email without a proper connection. You need the connection first before you attach. You need marriage before you commit.
Some people are experts when it comes to faking smiles on their faces. The look okay but are dying inside, they are suffering from wounds that you never see on their bodies but are deeper and more hurtful. They bleed to sleep each night, their pillows are soaked with tears in the name of love.
The cause of this suffering is as a result of attachment. Attached to people who don’t want them in their lives in the name of a relationship. Since he is not married to you now, it is the perfect time to show him the thing you want in your marriage. This is one of the best times to be sure your partner is not in love with your money or searching for help but are in love with you as a person.
You teach your partner how you want to be treated in marriage. If you are borrowing money for him whilst dating him, he will be asking you to take loans for him when you get married to him. He feels you have so much to give away so there is no need providing. You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla.
What a man learns is what he dies with, what you teach him during dating is what he practices in the marriage. But when you refuse the advice and go ahead to spend your money on them, remember the ears that do not listen to advice accompany the head when it is chopped off.
Money is one thing which can destroys relationships; money is one thing that attracts fake lovers. If you have money at your disposal, every dog and goat will claim to be in love with you. Watch out.
If they have suddenly changed towards you because you couldn’t help them with their demands, it is a clear indication you are with the wrong person. And if you have to let go, do that with joy, for you know the kind of person they are.
But don’t go and give away your body, life savings, etc and when the relationship is not working, you find it difficult to leave because of the investment. In that case you are not in love but on an attachment.
In conclusion “Don’t gamble on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, hocking your house against a lucky chance. The time will come when you have to pay up; you’ll be left with nothing but the shirt on your back” – Proverbs 22:26-27 (MSG).
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